Subject:  Nun jokes
 
 
        We've been having an informal "contest" around here the last week
or so to try to come up with nun jokes. Some of them were pretty good, so
I've put them all together into a file to post to the list. Enjoy...
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Q: What do you call a nun with a sprained ankle at a rock concert?
A: Twisted Sister
 
Q: What do you call it when a gathering of monks throws some nuns down a well?
A: A sistern
 
Q: What do you call towns inhabited by nuns?
A: Sister cities
 
Q: What do you call a nun carrying a basket to her grandmother's house?
A: Sisterhood
 
Q: What do you call a nun sitting in a fruit bowl?
A: A banuna
 
Q: What does a nun who smokes have?
A: A bad habit
 
Q: What do you call a nun in prison?
A: A convent
 
Q: What do you give a nun on a date?
A: A dozen rosaries
 
Q: What do you call a nun made of titanium?
A: A hard habit to break
 
Q: What do you call a nun in a hospital?
A: The Administrator
 
Q: What do you call a nun at a PG movie?
A: Rebellious
 
Q: What do you call a nun stranded on an iceberg?
A: A penguin
 
Q: What do you call a Catholic nun?
A: Redundant
 
Q: What do you call a nun who asserts her individuality?
A: A nun-conformist.
 
Q: What is the favorite political party of nuns?
A: Communionist
 
Q: What do you call a nun at a costume party?
A: A blessing in disguise
 
Q: What do you call a nun who just passed her bar exam?
A: A Sister-in-law
 
Q: What do you call a nun in Westport?    *[KC's night life district]
A: Unlikely
 
Q: What do you call a nun on Main Street between 11pm and 2am?
A: Mary Magdalene                         *[KC's hooker haven]
 
Q: What would you call a TV Western about nuns?
A1: Bonunza
A2: Have Nun, Will Travel
A3: How the West was Nun
 
Q: What do you call a nun in a palm tree?
A: A coconun
 
Q: What do you call a nun in Israel?
A: Wasting her time
 
Q: What do you call a nun climbing stairs?
A: A step-sister.
 
Q: What do you call a nun in a hydraulic press?
A: An oreo
 
Q: What do you call a nun on a nude beach?
A: Someone without any habits
 
Q: What do you call a seven-foot nun needing directions?
A: A long-lost sister
 
Q: What is black, white and red and has trouble going through doorways?
A: A nun with a spear through her head.
 
Q: Did you hear about Hemmingway's book on religious reincarnation?
A: It's called "The Nun Also Rises".
 
Q: When do two gun-weilding Sisters meet to have a shoot-out?
A: High Nun
 
Q: What would you title a murder mystery about ten murdered Sisters?
A: "And Then There Were Nun"
 
Q: What label does the Pope put on his bottles of Holy Water?
A: Nun-returnable.
 
Q: What did the horny monk say in the convent?
A: "I can't get nun."
 
Q: If Mother Theresa of Calcutta wrote her autobiography, where would it be
   filed in a library?
A: In the Nun-Fiction section.
 
Q: What do you call a nun who refuses to live at the nunnery?
A: Nun-conventional.
 
Q: What do you call an inbred nun?
A: Sister Cousin.
 
Q: What would you call it if a nun had been on the "Edmond Fitzgerald"? (sp?)
A: Mother Superior.
 
Q: What do you call siamese twins who join a convent?
A: Half-Sisters.
 
Q: Six Sisters are spending an afternoon visiting the city. Three of them
   turn to sin, two are shot, and one is kidnapped by a radical Protestant
   group. How many are left?
A: Nun
 
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In asking a friend if he could think of any nun jokes, he replied, "Nun".
 
        -Scott Murdock-
        Univ of MO - Kansas City
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Here's a few more nun jokes I had left out:
 
>Try to come up with a punch line to this joke:
>       Q: What do you call a nun in a leper colony?
 
A:  Our Lady Of Perpetual Rot
 
How about...
 
Q.  What's a Catholic Play-On-Words?
A.  A pun.
 
 
These were contributed by cdmitchell@vax1.umkc.edu, our own administrator of
our very own Murph Sewall Archives.
 
There's also this addendum...
 
Q: Why can't you find the phone numbers of nuns in the phone book?
A: They all have nunlisted phone numbers.
 
    (From ttasset@vax1.umkc.edu)
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Subject:  More nun jokes...
 
 
Holier Than Thou:  When one nun's habit has more moth damage than another's.
 
Q: Why do nuns need to learn math?
A: So they can count their blessings.
 
Q: Why is it hard to find nuns in the phone book?
A: Because they have nunlisted numbers.
 
If a nun sneezes, do you say "bless me"?
 
Q: What was the favorite childhood game of most nuns?
A: Ring Around the Rosary
 
Q: If a nun walked into a restaurant and set herself on fire, what would
   the manager do?
A: Seat her in the nunsmoking section.
 
Q: Why did the vulgar nun visit the laundromat?
A: Because she had dirty habits.
 
Q: What did the nun invited to dinner at George Burns' house say before eating?
A: Grace
 
Q: What do you call a fat nun in a tank of water?
A: Shamu

a: NUNdane
 
Q: What do you call a follish nun?
A: NUNcompoop
 
Q: What do you call a blonde nun?
A: NUNdimensional
 
Q: What do you call a nun with big ears?
A: NUNbo
 
Q: What do you call a radical nun?
A: NUNdenominational
 
Q: What do you call a fighting nun?
A: NUNja
 
 
                                    Ted Dowey
                                    MISEWD1@KENTVM
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